I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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