meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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