yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
