Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
