Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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