My liver just broke up with me...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
