Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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