Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
