Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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