i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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