Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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