Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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