Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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