Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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