Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
