I heard we made out
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
