You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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