Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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