smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
