She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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