Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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