thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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