lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
sarcasm needs its own font
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
