office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
