Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
