how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
