i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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