New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
soo... how was my night?
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