The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
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I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
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Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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