they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
