Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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