one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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