Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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