I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize