Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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