nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
