do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
