I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
