I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
