I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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