I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize