we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
