Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i now understand why vodka
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
