I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize