16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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