We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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