I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
