I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
