You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i've created a new STD.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize