Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
