There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
