And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
