We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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