He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
