this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
