one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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