I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
