she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
