I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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