when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
