I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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