did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I need to stop coming to work sober
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize