We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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