dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
