I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
